gratitude journal for kids

How to help your child to cultivate a gratitude practice

gratitude journal for kids

Note: This post DOES NOT contain any affiliate links. It is an unsolicited post to share a resource with my readers that I hope will be helpful.

gratitude journal

Did you ever see someone spreading happiness and feel the urge to give them a shoutout? That happened to me this week. I want to share a lovely journal for kids that I came across on Instagram. I’ll tell you all about it in a minute, but first of all, I want to explain why it caught my attention.

As grownups, we often get caught up in the daily hustle and grind.
Our brains are wired for survival, and this means that we have an inbuilt negativity bias. Over time, we forge neural pathways that can activate a cycle of negativity. Some of us also have a genetic predisposition towards anxiety or depression. We may also have experienced traumatic life events.

Imagine what your life would be like if you could actively cultivate new neural pathways. How would your life be better if you could rewire your brain towards positive emotions? The good news is that Positive Psychology suggests we can. Even better, by using a gratitude journal, you can teach your child to do it too. 

By deliberately adopting evidence-based practices we can slow down distress signals to the amygdala. We can also activate dopamine and serotonin, the feel good hormones.

One of those practices is gratitude journalling. This teaches us to notice and appreciate all the positives in our lives. 

A simple way to do this is to focus on the 3 w’s – what went well? Some people like to jot down a quick list of three things they are grateful for every evening.

gratitude journal for kids

This is where that lovely journal I mentioned comes in. It’s aimed at equipping children to actively notice the positive in their lives. This fosters resilience as it gives them something to draw on in times of adversity.

Screenshot of an Instagram post featuring the journal https://www.instagram.com/happyselfjournal/

It’s called the happyselfjournal. I came across it on my Instagram feed. It’s backed by Positive Psychology, which is scientifically-based. It’s aimed at children aged 7-12 and I love that it teaches them to develop daily practices to nurture their mental and emotional wellbeing.

Research has shown that we need at least four positive experiences to every negative to operate at optimum levels.

What are your daily habits to up your positivity levels? I’d love if you would share them in the comments below.

How to soothe first day at school nerves

first day school nerves
Note: this post contains links, but they are not affiliate links. I have only linked to sites and resources that I think would be genuinely helpful.

Starting school is a huge milestone for your child and for YOU. There’s a huge associated emotional impact associated with the transition. It’s an exciting time that is often tinged with fear and anxiety. It’s a signal that your child is gaining in independence and that can entail a sense of loss.

Your child might experience separation anxiety and feel daunted by this new challenge. Often, young children can’t verbalise this anxiety and it can be a stressful time if you don’t know how to handle it.

Here are some tips to make the process a little easier:

Remember that your child's experience of school won't necessarily be the same as yours. Teachers are nothing like Miss Trunchbull!

Via Giphy

starting primary school
1) Attend enrollment and induction meetings 
 
This can help to allay your concerns and it will also arm you with information to help prepare your child. Most schools arrange an opportunity for a visit in advance of the big day. Be positive about the experience – talk about the yard (playground), the toys and games.  Your child will usually get a chance to interact with their peers. It will help them on the first day if there are a few familiar faces. Emphasise that at school we meet lots of new friends. At these meetings, talk to other parents/guardians to model the process for your child.

2) Read books about starting school and coping with separation anxiety

Books give children a safe remove to explore and to express their feelings. They can relate to the central characters in stories such as Owl Babies.  It helps to normalise fear and anxiety when the child is exposed to books on related themes. For example, the baby owls feel sad when their primary carer goes away, but the story is a happy one because they are reunited at the end. Talk to your child about how the owls might be feeling.  

Recommended reads:

School for Dads Adam & Charlotte Guillain
Always in my heart Roisin Hahessy
The Kissing Hand Audrey Penn
Starting School Janet & Allan Ahlberg
Alfie and the big boys Shirley Hughes
Jellybean goes to school Margaret Roc & Laura Hughes
starting primary school

3) Get creative

Give your child paints/chalk/jumbo crayons/thick colouring pencils (such as twistables). Don’t try to shape the outcome, allow them draw or scribble freely. Let them draw and mark make on large sheets of paper. Activities like this might help them to process any worries or fears. Model the activity by drawing or writing alongside them. This can help you to tune into your own stress and to release and let go. By doing this, you will be in a better position mentally and emotionally to be able to support your child.
starting primary school
4) Play hide and seek and role play
Hide and seek provides a safe experience of separation. It also reinforces the idea that you will return.

 Role play being at school. Make it a positive and fun experience. Include your child’s favourite teddies as “classmates”. Sing action songs and recite known nursery rhymes. Reward excellent behaviour with a sticker!
starting primary school
5) The night before and the big day

Put phones on silent or in flight mode. Take some time out to prepare. Think about relaxation rituals that have worked well for your child in the past, such as a warm bath. Try turning off the “big” light and focusing on a lava lamp. Listen to a relaxing meditation together, such as this one. Pop a teddy on their belly and ask them to notice what happens as they breathe in and out. Exhaling calms the nervous system, this is a fun way to enourage it.  Talk them through what to expect. Use coping talk “you are brave”.  Acknowledge that they might be feeling sad, but emphasise that you know that they will be just fine. 

 
Remind them about other challenges that they have faced and handled well, such as going to creche.
 
*Empower your child by practicing what they could do if they feel anxious. Tell them that blowing out is a magic way to feel calm. You could even blow bubbles together, slowly. Or try getting them to hold their hands in front of their mouth and exhaling. Set aside plenty of time to eat, to get dressed and to travel to school so that it isn’t a rushed affair. Take a special photo to mark the occasion. Sing a favourite song on the commute.
 
 
6) Comfort and reassure
You might like to pop a special image in your child’s lunch box to reassure them.  Slip a tissue with a spritz of your signature scent into their pocket to comfort them. Pop a special photo into their bag or give them an item to “mind” for you until you come back to collect them. This reassures them that the separation is only temporary.
starting primary school
7) Show confidence in their ability
When you arrive at the school, watch your body language and facial cues. Try to hold it together. I know it’s hard, but your child will pick up if you are feeling upset and this can escalate their anxiety. Point out the toys and games on display. Tell them that the teacher looks kind. Don’t linger, even if they cling to you or cry. Give them a hug, a kiss and a high five. Let them know that you will be looking forward to hearing all about their adventures. Plan a special treat after school to celebrate, such as going to the park together.
starting primary school

8) Be kind to yourself

We all respond differently when we are upset or worried. Some people like to distract themselves. 

You might have to go to work.  See if you can grab a coffee with a colleague who will empathise with how you are feeling.

Either way, be selective about who you surround yourself with. Don’t engage with anyone who discounts or minimises how important this is to you.

 

starting primary school

9) Be on time for collection 

Turn up on time to collect your child, but stay out of sight until the teacher is ready to release the children.  This communicates that your child can trust you to return. It is really distressing for a young child if there is no-one there to collect them at the appointed time. 

Make sure to follow through if you have promised to mark the occasion together in a special way. 

 
Remember that your child might be feeling tired after their big day, so try not to ply them with too many questions!
If you found this post helpful, I would be really grateful if you would share it with a friend. Good luck and I hope all goes well for you.
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self-care practices

Self-care practices for women who struggle to nurture themselves

self-care practices

Sometimes we can be so busy running ourselves ragged looking after everybody else that we don’t get a look in.  Maybe it feels like you’re at a complete loss when it comes to meeting your own needs.

Sound familiar? I’ve heard this many times so I thought I’d write this post to share my thoughts on it. It’s one I personally struggled with too for a long time.  If you’re wondering about this right now, you have a headstart on me. I didn’t even realise that I badly needed to nurture myself. 

self-care practices

I used to think that self-care was about buying new clothes or reading magazines.  I thought that I was nurturing myself by going on a hotel mini-break. It just wasn’t cutting it for me though.  AND that strategy quickly got expensive!

The thing is self-care can look different for everyone. There’s no one right answer, but there’s a lot of confusion about what self-care really is, and what it isn’t.

If you’re wondering about what self-care is, don’t worry, a lot of women are in the same boat.  Equally, if you are feeling bad that you might not have been doing it “right”, you’re off the hook.  There’s not really a “right” way to do self-care, but it’s about making sure that whatever you choose meets your emotional, physical, spiritual and social needs. 

It’s amazing how many of us forget to look after our own needs.  We are often taught to be “good” girls, to nurture others and to put ourselves last. Or life gets in the way and we disconnect from what lights us up.

If you had a half an hour of “me time” right now what would you do? Your answer might change depending on what’s going on for you. If you’re exhausted, it might be a nap. It might be that you decide to finally get that haircut you’ve been promising yourself.   Or maybe you’re craving time for yourself, out walking in nature.

You can have fun with this. Be playful. It’s not about what you feel you “should” do. You might decide to go on a dog-led walk and just see where you end up.  Perhaps you’d like to visit that bookshop that’s been on your wishlist FOREVER. You might decide that from now on, Saturday mornings are sacrosanct and that you are going to listen to an audiobook  or buy yourself fresh flowers (just because).

But there’s another side to self-care, and I think this is the one that often gets forgotten.  We all love the idea of treating ourselves, but sometimes we forget about other aspects of our wellbeing.  

We might neglect going to the dentist or the optician.  We might get ourselves into serious debt and put off taking control of our money situations.  

It could be that we never take a lunch break or that we push ourselves even when we’re feeling tired. Eating well, sleeping and resting when we need to are all aspects of self-care.  

Embracing simplicity is a way of nurturing ourselves that is often overlooked.   

Clearing the promotions tab of our gmail inbox is never going to sound as exciting as booking a facial or a massage, but it can really reduce overwhelm.  

It might be that we decide to declutter so that our physical environment isn’t bringing us down. 

 

What are YOUR favourite self-care practices to nurture yourself?

Realising that we deserve and NEED to nurture ourselves is a massive first step.  Recognising that it can take many forms is another one.  It might look like putting on our big girl pants and doing the grown up things that we’ve been putting on the long finger.

It could be that we finally realise it’s time to cut ties with toxic people and nurture healthy relationships.

  • What helps you to unwind?
  • What have you been procrastinating?
  • How could you make your life easier?

Many of us are resistant to spending time nurturing ourselves. Pay attention to the gremlins in your head as they pop up with excuses.  They might tell you that you haven’t enough time.  You might notice yourself thinking that you are too busy.

 

You might compare yourself unfavourably to others who seem to be coping fine without needing a nap or whatever it is that your body and mind are crying out for. Yet we don’t know what is really going on for anyone else or how they are really feeling.  Everyone is coping with the demands of their own lives and it can be easy to compare and find ourselves lacking. How about being kind to yourself and just listening and tuning into what you need right now instead of beating yourself up?

 

Think about past patterns.  Have you ever been sick because you pushed yourself too hard? For some people, that manifests as being susceptible to every cold doing the rounds. For others, that can mean hitting burnout. In hindsight, what were the signs that you ignored? This is valuable information because it can help you to tune into your thoughts, feelings and behaviours and to be aware of your warning signs.

 

What are you going to commit to? Pick one thing you think would have a positive impact on your wellbeing. When we take the time for some me-time we signal to ourselves and others that we matter.

 I’d love if you’d share in the comments how you got on.

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